11 Caregiving Promises to Make
Let's promise to ourselves that we'll do our best with what we have right now.
Several years ago, my mom spoke with me about her future care needs. “I know I won't go to a nursing home,” she said to me, “because you'll take care of me at home.” I guess she wasn't really speaking with me but rather directing me.
I answered that I would do my best. I didn't make a promise that she wouldn't go to a nursing home because I've been around the block enough to know we just don't know. (I feel lucky that we could care for my mom in her home until she died in August 2022.)
It's hard not to make a promise like that, that our carees always will remain at home. Unfortunately, that's just such a tough promise to keep. We can't know what future obstacles and challenges we'll face that can make care at home simply impossible.
Instead of that promise, I've come up with 11 promises to make to yourself and to your caree. These promises are ones you can silently say to yourself or, if you'd like, share out loud with your caree.
1. I promise to do my best to care for you and for myself.
2. I promise to get help for both of us so we both stay in a good place. If you decline the help, I’ll make sure I get help for myself.
3. I promise to be truthful about my limits so that I receive the help I need and deserve.
4. I promise to forgive myself for bad days.
5. I promise to forgive you for your bad days.
6. I promise to be as honest about your diagnosis and prognosis as you want me to be.
7. I promise to advocate on behalf of both of us so we can receive what we need and want.
8. I promise to do my best to include interests, hobbies and relationships that you love as often as I can in the day.
9. I promise to do my best to include interests, hobbies and relationships that I love as often as I can in the day.
10. I promise to let your wishes about your treatments and quality of life drive the decisions I may have to make about your care.
11. I promise to walk this journey with you to the best of my ability.
What do you think? What would you add?
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I love these!
I'd like to add: I promise to treat you the way I would want to be treated if the roles were reversed.
Nancy
Denise, I LOVE how intentional and purposeful you are to include your wellbeing on your caregiving journey!
I'd like to add the following:
1) I promise to celebrate you for your good days.
2) I promise to celebrate me for my good days.
Celebrating our wins - from the tiniest to the largest - is so important for all involved.
Thank you for sharing such an honest and beautiful reflection.
Carol