“If you can't earn any income, you can't save it” -- a family caregiver’s response to the question, “How would you describe your savings for your future?” in our survey, “Financial Impact of a Caregiving Experience.”
As I share our survey responses on social media, I often receive a response from a financial planner who says, “That’s why planning is so important! With the right planning and budgeting, the situation can change.”
I totally believe in planning and live by a mantra, “Every worry needs a plan.”
Sometimes, though, planning isn’t enough. I spoke with a family caregiver this week who shared that they have enough to pay for his wife’s care but he sacrifices his medical appointments because he caps out on his Flexible Spending Account in March. He and his wife both work but the money just isn’t there for all they need. Her care needs are the necessary priority.
Another family caregiver shared her story with me this week. She did what she could to create financial security for her mom and her family. Two years ago, her mom’s car caught on fire and then burned down her mom’s house. Now, her mom lives with them and the family caregiver begins again to save for retirement at age 49.
I think sometimes others make the judgment that we just don’t know how to manage our money. The truth is we cannot manage what we don’t have. Without enough in the bank, we’re not managing. At all. We’re not managing well emotionally, financially and physically.
Consider an experiment that just ended in Stockton, Calif. A demonstrations project researched what happens with 125 individuals receive $500 each month.
The project proved that financial security increases well-being. the cash recipients were healthier, happier, and less anxious than their counterparts in the control group. “Cash is a better way to cure some forms of depression and anxiety than Prozac,” says Michael Tubbs, a former mayor of Stockton, who spearheaded the project.
Between 2011 and 2019, I ran a program I started called CareGifters which sent $500 to a family caregiver in need. With whatever money I could raise, I sent money to help a family caregiver to buy groceries, glasses for themselves, good shoes and their caree’s medications. Some used the money to pay rent and to hire help. One used the money to buy a Magic Bullet so she could properly puree her mom’s food.
When family caregivers received that money, they found hope. Another cared enough to help. They had the power to spend money on what they needed. (Can you image providing care without good shoes or glasses with a current prescription?)
We have untrained and unsupported family caregivers providing intense, critical care to a family member with a chronic illness or disease. They provide this care without having their own basic needs met. That’s sinful.
Perhaps it’s not individuals that need to plan better. As a society, we haven’t planned at all. Imagine had we planned for what we knew was coming — millions who would need the care of a family member. Imagine if we planned by putting the programs and services in place that keep a family and a community well.
We’ve let down family caregivers. We’ve left them on their own to just figure out all that caregiving requires — complicated care, system navigation, advocacy, family communication, budget management. They have to figure this out while trying to keep a job and their own savings. We’re asking them to do the impossible.
As a country, we didn’t plan. Family caregivers pay that price every day.
Please share your experiences about the financial impact of a caregiving experience.
Please join our pilot program and receive free training on how to care for a family member. Our instructors all have a personal caregiving experience.
I share insights, including a comparison of the family caregiver caregiver experience in 1995 to today, on my YouTube channel.
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