National Caregivers Day: "I feel guilty."
Family caregivers share about their stressful days.
Family caregivers rate their stress at 4.09 on a scale from 1 to 5, with 5 being the most stressed.
On National Caregivers Day, I think it's helpful to know what it's like to live with that kind of stress.
Family caregivers tell us about their stress in our Caregiving Stress Survey:
"All the smiling ads and articles that make caregiving sound romantic, wonderful, etc. which aren't like my experiences at all. It was OK for a while. Now, I hate every minute."
"Transportation issues. My own health problems prevent me from driving (and my car is over 20 years old). Uber is extremely expensive and I cannot get anyone to help with this. I can't afford medical care for myself and if something happens to me, I don't have anyone to help. I am starting to skip meals to save money, which worries me even more that I am this point. It's all overwhelming."
"I am a sandwich generation caregiver. I am very lucky to have paid caregiving help in addition to myself. My stress level goes up when there are sudden changes to the caregiver schedule; a caregiver gets sick, a caregiver goes on vacation, a caregiver has their own family emergency and I need to jump in, cover and figure out contingency plan. The times of relative stability and calm I am grateful for, but they are short lived."
"I'd really like to go back to work, but cannot commit to an 8-5 work schedule. It's difficult to guarantee that any day will be free of caregiving responsibilities."
"Trying to get used to hospice. I understand the philosophy, but for years my mom had been fighting diabetes, CHF, Rhumetory Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, and a stroke in 5/22. I always took her to her appointments. Since last May I became more involved including measuring out meds, paying bills, etc. The most stressful thing right now is being able to change the sheets while my mom is in bed (she can not longer walk) and I'm concerned about running out of sick days and not getting an extension on my intermittent FMLA."
"I don't know if it's time for a nursing home. I am angry that caregiving has taken over my life and that I will never get to live my life because I am stuck and the emotional damage is permanent."
"It's challenging to remember who I was before taking care of my son. My MAIN stress is worrying about who will care for him when I pass."
"I seem to question myself. Am I helping or hurting? Am I doing the right thing? Even though I study about her problems I never feel sure."
"We budget effectively, somehow making not quite enough be enough."
We have a lot of work to do to improve a family caregiver's quality of life. We can do it. We must.