Our Caregiving Accountability
As family caregivers, we take our accountability seriously, which is why we need support to take breaks.
After I launched my first online support groups in 1996, I began looking for training that would help me best support family caregivers. Finally, I found what I needed in 2004 — life coach training. As a life coach, I learned skills to be fully present to others during their painful experiences.
In my general coach training, we focused on accountability because we may work with clients who need to make changes — lose weight, get a different job, find love. Accountability with a coach helps us achieve these changes; without accountability, we may just settle into the status quo. With accountability, we take the steps, which feel so risky, to improve our lives because we know we have to report our actions and progress to our coach.
When I launched a caregiving coaching program (the Certified Caregiving Consultant program) in 2016, I intentionally left out accountability in our training modules. During caregiving, we already are accountable for so much — our caree’s med schedule, care plans, treatment decisions, appointments, health records, health history, likes and dislikes. Because of our accountability, our caree lives the best quality of life possible.
A caregiving experience has a natural selection process, leaving behind those who aren’t comfortable with accountability. My oldest sister no longer helps us care for our parents because she couldn’t tolerate the accountability. Accountability in caregiving is not for the faint of heart because it takes so much courage to be accountable for another’s life.
Instead of accountability, family caregivers need support as they give themselves permission to take moments away from the intensity of caregiving. Because we take our accountability for our caregiving responsibilities so seriously, we need support to step back from caregiving and step into our lives as often as we can. We need support because we worry so much about what could happen if we take a break. We need a kind coaching voice to remind us that taking time for our own needs and relationships is not irresponsible but rather a loving act for ourselves. Caregiving can hurt us in so any ways. Our heart, body and mind deserve to recover during our time away.
We hold ourselves accountable to so much during our caregiving experience. We need support to rest from accountability so we can receive time from our own life.
How do you feel about accountability during caregiving?
(Image by analogicus from Pixabay.)
Resources
My mom and I share our experiences with her “failure to thrive” diagnosis in this STAT article.
Sometimes we need relief and other times we need respite. Which do you need?
My Kindle books are free on July 20, 21 and 22. The books help you recover from a difficult caregiving day, heal your worries and navigate the six caregiving stages. Get yours.