About four years ago, I joined my mom’s church guild so that I could help her make her monthly meetings. The average age of the church guild members is probably 88.
Our guild treasurer, Phyllis, is 91 and cares for her 93-year-old husband. Whenever I sit next to Phyllis in our meetings, she immediately shares her caregiving stories. She recently shared what it was like to move her husband’s bed to the lower level of the house which holds the only bathroom with an accessible doorway and shower. She hated that he sleeps in a separate area and away from her. “What could I do, though?” she wondered.
It was a simple move that broke her heart. As I often write, we focus so much on tasks (like moving a hospital bed) when really we need to focus on the caregiving emotions (heartache).
I went to our community pool this week to swim laps. Lifeguard training was happening so I used the “kid” pool instead of the lap pool to do a simple work-out. In the kid pool, a father discussed caring for his parents with his son, who appeared to be college-aged. He talked about the worries about his parents’ financial situation and where they would live. “I think they will have to live with us,” he said. “It’s a lot to think about caring for someone when you also need to care for yourself.”
We’re all talking about it. We just need to talk together to ensure we get the help and support we deserve.
(Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay.)