The Hidden Chauffeur
It's important we decide how we describe ourselves during our caregiving experience.
“Once you label me, you negate me.” ~ Sören Kierkegaard
Between 2016 and 2019, I hosted a National Caregiving Conference, which attracted family caregivers and former family caregivers from across the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom.
During a planning meeting before the 2018 conference, I met with two employees of a large sponsor. The employees wanted to do something interactive in their exhibit space and shared their idea with me. They wanted to set up a photo booth and have signs ready for family caregivers to hold while the staff took their photograph. The signs would reflect the jobs that they felt family caregivers completed, like Cook and Chauffeur.
Yes, the employees of a very large national organization (you would recognize it immediately) wanted to celebrate family caregivers by asking them to have their photo taken while holding up signs that read Cook and Chauffeur.
I was aghast.
After our call ended, I wrote a blog post about the ways family caregivers can describe themselves: Diplomat, Investor, Phoenix. That post has evolved into Your Caregiving Superpowers, which can inspire the superpowers you list on your profile on CaringOurWay.com.
The sponsor ultimately did not create those signs (Cook, Chauffeur) for family caregivers to hold. I’m not sure who helped them come to their senses.
I attended a conference last week that reminded me of that story. At this conference, family caregivers are called Hidden Heroes. Those who support these Hidden Heroes, like children and other family members, are called Hidden Helpers.
I remain gobsmacked at the organizations in our space that call family caregivers “invisible” and “hidden.”
I completely understand that we feel invisible, hidden and overlooked.
That does not mean we deserve to be called invisible and hidden and to be labeled in a way that diminishes our role and our value. I could never call my siblings who helped me care for our parents my “Hidden Helpers.” Oh, my heavens! They would definitely stop helping if I did that.
We are vocal, courageous, effective leaders of our caregiving experience.
I see you. I see your leadership skills. I see your problem-solving acumen. I see your tenacity. I see you organizing, managing, navigating and advocating.
I see you.
How would you like me to describe you?
(Image by Ilona S from Pixabay.)
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