The Reality of Who Represents Us
How well can a celebrity tell the world about the true caregiving challenges?
We’re continuing to collect stories of what it’s like to navigate The 17 Caregiving Systems. (Please schedule time to tell us about your experiences.)
Last week, Donna Thomson, who cares for her son and cared for her parents, shared her experiences with me. During our conversation, we spoke about the unmet needs of both family caregiver and caree. We have so many needs that we can’t meet that we sometimes feel desperate. Living in a perpetual state of scarcity is just awful.
Because so many of us live with unmet needs, I think it’s important to consider who we appoint to become the public face of caregiving. Over the decades, I’ve watched organizations elevate celebrities into becoming something like spokespersons for the caregiving experience. Certainly, celebrities have a reach and a fan base we don’t.
But I don't consider the celebrities my caregiving peers -- someone who gets the challenges and stressors in a similar way that I do. (Does the direct care shortage affect celebrities like it does us?)
I do think celebrities can play an important role in helping and supporting family caregivers. It would be great if celebrities banded together to raise money to help family caregivers. To me, that's impactful. (It would be amazing if a celebrity said: ”It was hard for me so I know it can feel impossible for others without my resources and access to help. I'm supporting these family caregivers by raising money for a Family Caregiver Relief Fund. Join me in donating $10 a month.”
About five years ago, I attended a conference sponsored by a well-known organization that serves support family caregivers. The conference featured celebrities sharing their caregiving stories. One shared how her TV program temporarily stopped production just so she could manage caregiving responsibilities. I can't imagine her situation (the business stopped without any impact on her) happening for anyone else. When we can’t meet our responsibilities at work, we often lose our jobs or have to take an unpaid leave; neither option puts us in a better situation.
During a break in this celebrity-studded conference, I chit-chatted with some attendees about their reaction to the celebrity stories. None were moved by the stories of celebrities; one was really bothered by them.
When we’re working hard just to meet our basic needs, I’m moved when a celebrity puts energy into doing something. Otherwise, I worry that celebrities sharing their stories can’t broadcast the true challenges of a caregiving experience. We simply don’t have what we need. We need the world to know that.
What do you think?