The Scams

Protecting our carees from fraud and scam becomes an integral caregiving responsibility.

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On a late Sunday morning in March three years ago, my dad called me.

I knew we had a problem before I picked up the phone.

“Denise, $5,000 is missing from my bank account,” he said.

Unfortunately, this was an unusual Sunday; I was just about to lead a scheduled training session. Attendees would be joining me virtually in about five minutes.

I spoke to my dad for a few minutes, then called my brother to explain the situation and asked him to call my dad. While I worked, my brother helped my dad, who alerted the management at his senior living community, who then called the police. The police arrived within minutes to interview my dad. He had moved into the community just a few weeks after my mom died, six months earlier.

My dad had thrown a voided check into his recycling bin. Someone found the check and began stealing money through check washing.

Fortunately, my brother’s name had been added to my parents’ checking account three years earlier. My brother alerted the bank the next day; the bank reversed the payment and closed the account.

My father died four months later. The police, though, continued working to find the criminal because my brother, as another name on the account, was considered a victim. About a year ago, my brother received a letter from the police confirming the criminal had been found and prosecuted.

When Clare Ansberry, a reporter at The Wall Street Journal, reached out a few weeks ago asking if I knew of an older adult who had been a victim of fraud or a scam, I connected her to my brother. He shares his experience in her recent article.

Clare’s article sparked memories for my sister and me. My sister shared that my mom found a charge on her credit card statement a few months before she died for a “watch of the month” subscription. Yes, a watch of the month. My sister called immediately and canceled it.

I shared the story of my father’s friend whose email account was hacked. The hacker sent out emails requesting a favor, asking recipients to purchase Google Play gift cards for a nephew in need and reply with the redemption codes. My dad, who always liked to help, called me to pick up the gift cards. And because I do what my father says, I stopped at Walgreens.

When I arrived at my parents’ apartment with the gift cards, the three of us began talking through the situation. My niece, who regularly helped my parents, looked at us like we were nuts. That’s when I realized we’d been scammed. A few minutes later, my dad’s friend called: “I got hacked! Don’t reply to any emails.”

Gift cards can’t be returned, so my dad gave my niece and me the cards, with strict instructions to keep this little adventure a secret. I did, until last week, when I finally told my sister.

These scams are such a waste of our time when we literally have no time to spare. And it’s deeply distressing that scammers prey on our carees during their final years, when their frailty and declines already break our hearts. That anyone would prey on them just crushes our souls.

We were lucky. The most we lost was $200 on those Google Play cards.

How do you keep your caree safe from scams?

Resources

• Image by Markus Winkler from Pixabay

• This week, we’re writing six-word stories about our impatient moments.

• Join us for March into Mastery, a series of workshops that offer insights into the caregiving experience.

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