We Need to Be Ready to Support
A colleague shared she needed time off to help her mom. Her employer told her she couldn’t.
About 10 days ago, after watching a frustrating discussion about caregiving, I posted a video begging everyone to change a typical focus of the conversation: Family caregivers don’t self-identify.
In the video, posted at the bottom of this post, I suggested that we instead focus on how we can best help and support those who do talk about their caregiving situations.
I shared this thought with a colleague yesterday. She shared her story of talking to her employer about her need to take time off to help her mom. Her employer refused her request. My colleague, then, remained silent about her situation while lying to her employer when she needed to take time off. “I also began to ignore my mom’s needs,” she said, “and that’s the worst part.” Her employer? A long-term care facility.
It’s not about how an individual talks about their caregiving experience. It’s about how the employer, the health care system, the community system, the social service system respond when we do. The problem isn’t that we don’t self-identity. It’s that we often feel ignored or dismissed when we do.
When systems are ready to offer support, resources and help to individuals when they talk about their caregiving experiences, we will hep more and more individuals who help, care for and worry about a family member or friend. We’ll also create space for more to share because they will trust that they will be heard and helped when they share.
When we’re not ready to offer support and resources, we’ll just create silence and regrets. That’s the problem.
Resources
Download your free Kindle copy of the ninth edition of The Caregiving Years, Your Guide to Navigating the Six Caregiving Stages: https://amzn.to/3p2SAND (Ends today.)
RSVP to join our next Family Emergency Planning meeting on June 25 at 1 p.m.: https://careplan.eventbrite.com.