Thank you so much for writing this. I can relate! I grew up with an NPD mother. Too much to say here except I've experienced many other relationships like the one I had with my mother (but diluted) due to how I was conditioned. And I tend to feel guilty when I set a boundaries with these people. I think I've done something wrong or am not being "nice."
I think while also knowing in many cases, it would be better to disengage with the person. But then I have to look at myself and ask why are so many of my relationships with narcissists? Why am I attracting those people? Will I have any friends left?
I know it's related to my codependency. What is harder to understand is with all the knowledge and years of experience I have in this area, why do I continue to repeat the same unhealthy pattern?
I so appreciate your perspective and reading your experiences, Evie. I think (and it's only my perspective) that narcissism is much, much more common today. I'm not sure it's about attracting these individuals as it is about encountering them on a daily basis because it's so prevalent. I believe walking away from those individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits is the best way to leave room for healthy, comforting friendships. It's all a process. You're doing your best to navigate a really tricky process -- leaving behind those who don't deserve your time and friendship.
I totally agree. People like this are everywhere and we should not blame ourselves when we encounter so many, or when we feel let down that they cannot behave better. It’s really disheartening, I know. When we are caregivers especially, we simply don’t always have the bandwidth to work around or tolerate narcissistic behaviors. I myself walk away. If that means cutting someone out of my life, so be it. It doesn’t feel good, but I have to take care of myself too, and sometimes that means being the “bad guy.”
Thank you so much for writing this. I can relate! I grew up with an NPD mother. Too much to say here except I've experienced many other relationships like the one I had with my mother (but diluted) due to how I was conditioned. And I tend to feel guilty when I set a boundaries with these people. I think I've done something wrong or am not being "nice."
I think while also knowing in many cases, it would be better to disengage with the person. But then I have to look at myself and ask why are so many of my relationships with narcissists? Why am I attracting those people? Will I have any friends left?
I know it's related to my codependency. What is harder to understand is with all the knowledge and years of experience I have in this area, why do I continue to repeat the same unhealthy pattern?
I so appreciate your perspective and reading your experiences, Evie. I think (and it's only my perspective) that narcissism is much, much more common today. I'm not sure it's about attracting these individuals as it is about encountering them on a daily basis because it's so prevalent. I believe walking away from those individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits is the best way to leave room for healthy, comforting friendships. It's all a process. You're doing your best to navigate a really tricky process -- leaving behind those who don't deserve your time and friendship.
I totally agree. People like this are everywhere and we should not blame ourselves when we encounter so many, or when we feel let down that they cannot behave better. It’s really disheartening, I know. When we are caregivers especially, we simply don’t always have the bandwidth to work around or tolerate narcissistic behaviors. I myself walk away. If that means cutting someone out of my life, so be it. It doesn’t feel good, but I have to take care of myself too, and sometimes that means being the “bad guy.”
Spot on!!