Well, we are on the same wave length. Not only is it hard to think about disrupting the routine and managing help, for many the whole process is scary.
Sue and I published a podcast episode yesterday on "Navigating the caregiving hiring process". In two weeks we will publish "Creating a care plan" and two weeks after that, "How to integrate and introduce a paid caregiver". Here is a link to the one from yesterday.
What a needed series! I just love the resources you are creating. I wanted to be avoid going on and on about why it's hard to add help so didn't add this piece: It's hard to keep the help you hire and often you find yourself in a revolving door of finding, hiring and training. That's awful, too. You also need to find that one person who will do well with your caree and who your caree will like. Even if you have volunteers come in, you still need to train and hope for a good match. Even if you have family members who help, it's sill a ton of work getting organized for them, training them, getting them to keep helping. I made my siblings help (I realized that a few weeks ago) and it took lots of check-ins and hand-holding. My parents hired my sister to help. A few months after my mom died, my sister, niece and dad went to a restaurant for lunch across the street from my dad's apartment. My dad fell outside the restaurant. A nice man helped him up. They brought him into the restaurant. Then, my sister called me. She was so stressed out she could not figure out how to bring him back to his apartment, which was across the street. (He had skin tears on his arms even though he was wearing a winter coat.) Anyway, I went and got them, organized their lunch (my dad needed to eat), talked with the nurse at his independent living community, decided when to go to the ER (after my dad ate) and organized everything at the ER. Even when we have help, we have to be able to help the help! (I still figured out a way to go on and on about why it's hard to add help!)
Yes, we often blame the caregiver, and we don’t think about what they need to manage—adding help often adds new accommodations and new work to an overloaded day.
I wish the researchers would have gone through the experience of being a family caregiver trying to add in help. If they understood what it's like, perhaps the research could have focused on the changes programs/services can make to better serve family caregivers.
Amen to that. So glad you are talking about it now. And I especially appreciate your perspective that we’re all still learning, highlighted by your developing understanding of the, now, 19 systems you’ve identified and adjusted as new information needs accommodation.
Oh my goodness thank you for saying this!! One of the very hardest parts of caregiving is all the people in my home. Even when I like them it’s hard. And hiring them is so stressful. Not at all like hiring someone for a regular workplace, which I have plenty of experience doing. I really appreciate this post, it feels really good that there are people who understand this.
You also make a great point: Bringing in help means a loss of privacy! Sometimes, you just want the house to yourself. You also want to make sure you can trust the help. There are soooo many nuances to adding in help.
Well, we are on the same wave length. Not only is it hard to think about disrupting the routine and managing help, for many the whole process is scary.
Sue and I published a podcast episode yesterday on "Navigating the caregiving hiring process". In two weeks we will publish "Creating a care plan" and two weeks after that, "How to integrate and introduce a paid caregiver". Here is a link to the one from yesterday.
https://thecaregiversjourney.com/32-navigating-the-caregiver-hiring-process-five-essential-tips-alzheimers-and-other-dementias/
Nancy
What a needed series! I just love the resources you are creating. I wanted to be avoid going on and on about why it's hard to add help so didn't add this piece: It's hard to keep the help you hire and often you find yourself in a revolving door of finding, hiring and training. That's awful, too. You also need to find that one person who will do well with your caree and who your caree will like. Even if you have volunteers come in, you still need to train and hope for a good match. Even if you have family members who help, it's sill a ton of work getting organized for them, training them, getting them to keep helping. I made my siblings help (I realized that a few weeks ago) and it took lots of check-ins and hand-holding. My parents hired my sister to help. A few months after my mom died, my sister, niece and dad went to a restaurant for lunch across the street from my dad's apartment. My dad fell outside the restaurant. A nice man helped him up. They brought him into the restaurant. Then, my sister called me. She was so stressed out she could not figure out how to bring him back to his apartment, which was across the street. (He had skin tears on his arms even though he was wearing a winter coat.) Anyway, I went and got them, organized their lunch (my dad needed to eat), talked with the nurse at his independent living community, decided when to go to the ER (after my dad ate) and organized everything at the ER. Even when we have help, we have to be able to help the help! (I still figured out a way to go on and on about why it's hard to add help!)
Yes, we often blame the caregiver, and we don’t think about what they need to manage—adding help often adds new accommodations and new work to an overloaded day.
I wish the researchers would have gone through the experience of being a family caregiver trying to add in help. If they understood what it's like, perhaps the research could have focused on the changes programs/services can make to better serve family caregivers.
Amen to that. So glad you are talking about it now. And I especially appreciate your perspective that we’re all still learning, highlighted by your developing understanding of the, now, 19 systems you’ve identified and adjusted as new information needs accommodation.
Yes!! We have to remain curious, especially about our own work, in order to provide the best right-now support to family caregivers.
Oh my goodness thank you for saying this!! One of the very hardest parts of caregiving is all the people in my home. Even when I like them it’s hard. And hiring them is so stressful. Not at all like hiring someone for a regular workplace, which I have plenty of experience doing. I really appreciate this post, it feels really good that there are people who understand this.
You also make a great point: Bringing in help means a loss of privacy! Sometimes, you just want the house to yourself. You also want to make sure you can trust the help. There are soooo many nuances to adding in help.